The question has become, What happened in the year 2006? With the renewed start of this blog, I began to wonder why I have not written anything in years. I tried to think back to when I last really sat down to write anything creative. And even the process of thinking about writing made me feel mentally exhausted and ready to push it all aside. But no! I must attempt to resist this lethargy. What will happen -no, make that what
has happened is this: I've lost it. Whatever IT is, I've lost it. The desire to write, the inspiration I used to have, the passion for creating; whatever it was it is no longer there in the same quality and quantity. Was it ever really of any quality to begin with? Is it like this lack-luster blog entry...boring, lifeless, and an obvious attempt to force creative thought and fanciful words? I'm beginning to think it is.
I used to constantly write. Since grade school I've been writing. I wanted to write my own book since I could read. And so I would grab a pencil and paper and just start writing about whatever I was in the mood for. I was (and still am) susceptible to the influence of other authors. When I was a child, I read every Babysitter's Club book written and due to this influence, I wanted to write about my own club of friends going about their simple but meaningful adventures. Then I got into scary stories and R. L. Stine's Fear Street series. That's when I began to write about cheerleaders getting squashed beneath fallen basketball backboards and teenagers with split personalities. (I promise it was just a faze in my writing and not a wicked twist on my own psyche.) As a young adult entering college, I read more than my share of chick lit. Naturally I began to toy with writing about my own female heroine who struggles through a bad relationship, a job from hell, and other conflicts only to finally come out on top a better person with a new sense of purpose and a renewed outlook on some aspect of life.
So what happened in the year 2006? I found an old journal of mine today while going through a ton of old school folders and junk from under my bed. I think it was the last one I kept. And I bet you can guess what the last date I wrote in it was. Yep, 2006. And the last entry, the same last entry I had here on this very blog, was about my new job at the newspaper. So is that what really happened in the year 2006? I started writing for a living and was burned out on writing for myself. And then when I was let go from the paper, (for reasons that I would like to spare anyone reading this otherwise today's blog entry will double in size), I just didn't want to spend time writing. I still read as much as ever, but never could pick up a pen or open a word document. Talk about a long spout of writer's block. And I still have it. My rant here isn't creative. It's informative and only mildly interesting (to me). I suppose the silver lining in this is that at least I started to blog again. Who knows, maybe in another two years I'll be back up to where I once was. I can only hope.
