Just preposterous

Why...why...WHY are there Christmas ornaments already out at Hallmark? This is definitely one of my pet peeves. I will try to explain why this bothers me so much.

First of all...it's summer! It is July, people. JULY! We are currently in the middle of hot-as-hell summer, and Hallmark thinks this is a super time to put up Christmas stuff? I do not understand this company's reasoning. I thought last year proved that displaying Christmas stuff earlier did nothing to change consumer spending. We don't care if it's available in summer. We do not think about Christmas until October...generally. Even then (at least me) only think about Halloween first. I refuse to acknowledge the green and red displays until after Halloween.

Who gave this winter holiday permission to encroach on our summer? Doesn't anyone realize that December, and winter, feels more special and magical when it's just once a year? Hallmark...and you too, Hobby Lobby...are ruining this special time by shoving this holiday down our throats in the middle of the summer. I refuse to be a part of this catastrophe. I absolutely will not purchase anything Christmas related until November.

Maybe I'm getting old (and I'm not that old!) but I actually remember a time when I was a kid, when Christmas didn't happen until the day after Thanksgiving...in November. Halloween was Halloween, in October, and not over-shadowed by Christmas. I'm thankful that in the past couple of years, Halloween has fought back and people now buy black and orange decorations and experience the fun October holiday that is Halloween once again. Halloween, you rock!

Too bad Thanksgiving doesn't have a leg to stand on. The idea that it came from the first pilgrims eating turkey and mashed potatoes with Native Americans at Plymouth Rock is all hogwash. And I think most Americans realize that now. So it's nothing but a day where we are obligated to engage in uncomfortable, awkward dinners with family...most often with alcohol. Oh yeah, and football. So as you can see, Thanksgiving can't really fight against Christmas. But that's okay...at least for me. Thanksgiving is the Christmas kick-off, and I'm okay with that. It lets us experience the holiday season for a good two months...because the fun doesn't really stop until New Year's Eve.

But Christmas in July??? No way, Jose. Preposterous. I will not tolerate this. Why does this holiday get to take over half the year? It's not special when it lasts six months. Why am I the only one who gets this? Nobody needs a Capt. Kirk or Barbie ornament six months before Christmas.

You know what? I've decided that I'd like to celebrate my birthday for six months of the year. Heck, why not make it all year! I know my birthday isn't until the spring, but that won't deter me. I'd like you all to go and buy me gifts now. Just a hint, I'd like some iTunes gift cards, please.

Hmmm, you know Hallmark, if you held out until November, like you used to so long ago, people won't know what's going on. They'll feel the need to stock up on Christmas decorations. With only November and December to purchase Christmas stuff, people will be in a frenzy to spend, spend, SPEND. It may help your bottom line to hold out on the goods for a few months. There's nothing like a little, or a lot, of demand. And I'm sure you've got plenty of supply. You must, afterall, you have enough stuff to stock stores for half a year. So think about it. You may thank me later.