Giggling to myself

Just wanted to share with the world that I'm officially a giddy school-girl again. Every time I think about... (for privacy-sake I'll just call him The Harpist) - anytime I think about the Harpist, I smile and get all giggly inside. It's a warm wonderful feeling that I've not had in a long time.

Am I too quick to feel like this over someone? I would normally have said, yes. Yes, it's way too soon because I don't know him well yet. I've always admired from afar those people who say sparks flew the instant they met and all that other mushy nonsense...and I also shook my head and thought how ridiculous it really was because in real life, that just doesn't happen.

But now I have to wonder if there's not some reality to it all. I suppose people can feel excited about another person right away. Perhaps I've always thought it wasn't real because I'd never experienced it for myself. And because I've never experienced it for myself, I also ponder that maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. I don't know what's ruling my emotions...head, heart, chemicals? Am I over-thinking EVERYTHING like I always do? Probably.

I've only dated the Harpist a few times so far. But they were amazing dates. The best first date I've EVER had. No weird awkward moments; no silent staring; no weird conversations involving too much information. It was all wonderful. And I've never kissed on a first date before either. That was a lovely first experience.

Naturally, little things are starting to surface...like what's moving too fast and what's not. Is it all in my head - this instant attraction? And I really don't want to think about these things. I'm trying really hard to just stop thinking and go with the flow for once. I know things will move along just fine and fretting about it all will only spoil my excitement.

As of right now, I am loving this feeling I have and I want to relish it for a good, long time. So if you see me smiling and giggling to myself, you'll know it's because I'm thinking of the Harpist.

Lily Allen song

This songs hits a little too close to home for me.

Lily Allen - 22 (Music Video)

I'm Back Again (For Now)

Hello Internet. How have you been? Sorry I haven't talked to you in a long time. I've been busy. Did you have a good holiday? As you probably already figured out, I come and go from this blog thing. I take many long breaks between writing. Either nothing interesting has happened or I've got the writer's block again. Lately, it's been both. But I do have news.

So what's happened since the last time I blogged?

The job I got at Basin Healthcare as the early-ass morning receptionist is no more. I was promoted to Administrative Assistant to the CEO. This means I'm now going to work from 8am to 5pm. No more 4:30am wake-up alarms. Yay. (And the pay-raise is splendid.)

I'm going to Austin for spring break. I felt the need to get out of town and decided on Austin. Why go to Austin again? Well mostly it is because I'm determined to take a proper trip there. The last handful of times I've been were whirlwind 2 day trips. I'm tired of all of that driving just to spend 2 days there. This time it's going to be 3, not counting driving time. At least, that's my plan. Drive in really early one day and have the rest of that afternoon and evening; have the next two days for whatever I feel like; the fourth day will be a half-day because I will need to drive home in the afternoon. I really hope it goes as planned. People close to me know how OCD I get when it comes to plans.
I just can't help it. I try to apologize to people in advance. But once I get a schedule in my head, I am compelled to follow it. If there's a speed-bump, a detour, or any other sidetrack in the plan, I get very antsy. I can't help it. I feel like things aren't going according to plan and I'm missing out on something, and that means things aren't right. And they need to be right. See? OCD.

The ex and I are in the friend zone now - where it should be. There's no real awkwardness when we hang out with our friends. We even get lunch together sometimes just to stay in touch. So it's all good. I don't have to put up with his hi-jinks anymore and when he tries to pressure me into drinking or something, I firmly say no and shut the door on that conversation instead of letting him keep trying like I used to do. It feels good not to deal with it anymore.

There's a few other things too that I could mention, but I'm saving those for posts later.

Haiku

I was bored at work for a quiet moment in the early morning, and I tend to write haikus when I'm bored.

Early morning, rise!
But sleeping the dawn away
is preferable.


Must a haiku rhyme?
It needs only five, seven, five -
but shall rhyme this time.


Can what was broken,
bloom again with new colors?
Metamorphosis!

Break-Up

It's over. The boyfriend and I broke up on August 14th. We dated for a year and two weeks.

This is coming a little late, but understandably I did not feel very much like blogging, writing, going out, talking, or sometimes eating, for a good while. I really don't even feel like getting into it again so here's the short short version:

Things from June were never completely resolved, and so this led to the inevitable end. It's hard to end a romantic attachment after a year. But what's worse is we became each other's best friend too. How does one handle that? You'd think all the movies, TV shows, and chick lit I've encountered over the years would give me an idea; but no. Not so easy when it's real life.

The hurt is gone but what's left now is worry that I'll lose a friend too. I believe we both want to try and be friends... but I know that'll take a while to work out.

Here's hoping it does work out.

Hooray employment!

After 5 months of coasting on my savings (that quickly began to sink this last month) and looking for a job, I found one! And it's full-time work too.

Yep, I am rejoining the drudgery that is a 40 hour work-week. I accepted a job at Basin Healthcare Center (a new mini-hospital that opened in February) as the new morning receptionist. And when I say morning, boy do I mean morning. We're talking BEFORE the ass-crack of dawn. Today was my first day, and this week I'll be working an average day of 8am to 5pm. But next Monday I'll be starting my permanent shift of 5:45am to 2:15pm. (Pause to absorb the horror of 5:45AM.)

I have no idea how I'm going to do it. I was unprepared for this time slot. The ad in the paper said nothing to the effect of a super early-ass shift. But what was I going to say when they offered me the job? No thank you; I don't want to get up that early? (Sigh.) I need a job because I need money and I was tired of interviewing and submitting resumes to no avail for the last two months. I took the early-ass job.

For 5 months now, I've been quite the night owl...staying up til 2 or 3 in the morning most days and sleeping in till noon, sometimes 1. This was a fine fit for being with my boyfriend who works 1:30pm to 10:30pm. But now... I'm not going to see him as much on a weekday. :(

I can barely wake up by 11:30am right now. Getting up to be at work at 8am was difficult. How am I going to get up at 4:30am??

Wonder how I'll handle it...

First day:

"Let's go!"
7:50am

5:15pm

Just preposterous

Why...why...WHY are there Christmas ornaments already out at Hallmark? This is definitely one of my pet peeves. I will try to explain why this bothers me so much.

First of all...it's summer! It is July, people. JULY! We are currently in the middle of hot-as-hell summer, and Hallmark thinks this is a super time to put up Christmas stuff? I do not understand this company's reasoning. I thought last year proved that displaying Christmas stuff earlier did nothing to change consumer spending. We don't care if it's available in summer. We do not think about Christmas until October...generally. Even then (at least me) only think about Halloween first. I refuse to acknowledge the green and red displays until after Halloween.

Who gave this winter holiday permission to encroach on our summer? Doesn't anyone realize that December, and winter, feels more special and magical when it's just once a year? Hallmark...and you too, Hobby Lobby...are ruining this special time by shoving this holiday down our throats in the middle of the summer. I refuse to be a part of this catastrophe. I absolutely will not purchase anything Christmas related until November.

Maybe I'm getting old (and I'm not that old!) but I actually remember a time when I was a kid, when Christmas didn't happen until the day after Thanksgiving...in November. Halloween was Halloween, in October, and not over-shadowed by Christmas. I'm thankful that in the past couple of years, Halloween has fought back and people now buy black and orange decorations and experience the fun October holiday that is Halloween once again. Halloween, you rock!

Too bad Thanksgiving doesn't have a leg to stand on. The idea that it came from the first pilgrims eating turkey and mashed potatoes with Native Americans at Plymouth Rock is all hogwash. And I think most Americans realize that now. So it's nothing but a day where we are obligated to engage in uncomfortable, awkward dinners with family...most often with alcohol. Oh yeah, and football. So as you can see, Thanksgiving can't really fight against Christmas. But that's okay...at least for me. Thanksgiving is the Christmas kick-off, and I'm okay with that. It lets us experience the holiday season for a good two months...because the fun doesn't really stop until New Year's Eve.

But Christmas in July??? No way, Jose. Preposterous. I will not tolerate this. Why does this holiday get to take over half the year? It's not special when it lasts six months. Why am I the only one who gets this? Nobody needs a Capt. Kirk or Barbie ornament six months before Christmas.

You know what? I've decided that I'd like to celebrate my birthday for six months of the year. Heck, why not make it all year! I know my birthday isn't until the spring, but that won't deter me. I'd like you all to go and buy me gifts now. Just a hint, I'd like some iTunes gift cards, please.

Hmmm, you know Hallmark, if you held out until November, like you used to so long ago, people won't know what's going on. They'll feel the need to stock up on Christmas decorations. With only November and December to purchase Christmas stuff, people will be in a frenzy to spend, spend, SPEND. It may help your bottom line to hold out on the goods for a few months. There's nothing like a little, or a lot, of demand. And I'm sure you've got plenty of supply. You must, afterall, you have enough stuff to stock stores for half a year. So think about it. You may thank me later.

Gah!

I hate job hunting!!!

On the mend

But it's a very slow process. What's that cliche? Something about how trust is like a broken vase; you can fix it, but it will still have cracks. (Sigh) I want to trust again, but I'm scared.

Heartbreak

When does it get better?

I hate cover letters

They can be torture to write sometimes. Yes, business professionals will always tell you that a cover letter is necessary. It will make you stand out from the rest of the applicants. If your resume is only ho-hum, your cover letter could get you the job. But I still loathe writing them.

Each cover letter has to be specific for the job you're applying to. It can't be a generic one you send to everyone. Apparently recruiters have a need to feel special and if they think you're toying with their emotions by sending them an obvious generic cover letter that's not all about them, your resume is in the trash by the first paragraph.

The pressure is on. It took me two days (not the full 24 hours in each day of course) to write out a stinkin cover letter for a job in San Antonio. I think I spent the first couple of hours trying to write the first sentence. Then I stared at a blank word document for another good two hours. Agh! I'll come back to it later, I said. When I did eventually go back, I got another sentence written. But then, I couldn't think how to flow into my next line of thought without an abrupt change of pace. That's the most difficult part, I think...going from introductions to the main plot.

I scoured the Internet for ideas. I Googled "cover letters" and read through cover letter samples and took pieces of several hoping to weave them together into a cohesive letter that would become my own. In the end I found the basics for any cover letter. You need three basic elements, or three basic paragraphs.
1) Why you are writing.
2) Why you are a good fit for this position. (It helps to list their requirements and how you fit them.)
3) How you will follow up.

And let's not forget to add just a small dash of flattery. I also researched the company's website and added a line that included information from their mission statement and how I agreed with it, showing how well I'd fit in with them.

Too bad the best cover letter I wrote is lost. It was written two years or so ago. I don't know what happened to the file. Maybe it was on my last computer before it crashed. I really could've used it as a jumping off point. But in the end, I finally got this new letter written. I don't know if it's the best cover letter. Probably not. But at least I don't think it stinks.

You know, I get that recruiters want a sense of your style before they call you in for an interview. They can't always get that from just a resume. The resume could be flawless, but if you screw up in a cover letter, they won't be calling. It's such a shame, really. A cover letter tells how you could be a good fit for a job, but in the end, you're really just trying to get a job. A cover letter is nothing but a fancy letter explaining why you and your resume should be given a chance because you really need a decent paying job. That's all.

That being said, below are two cover letter examples for your reading enjoyment. The one on the left is the actual cover letter I wrote, with phone numbers and my address changed of course. I left the company's info because I got that information right off their web-page and so could anyone else. The second on the right is a screwy letter I wrote for fun...what a cover letter really is.
(I think if you click on them, they should enlarge.)

Potential Energy

I was randomly perusing other blogs and this one caught my eye. I enjoy reading it and there's been one or two posts I felt I understood well or connected with a bit. Enjoy her writing here:

Potential Energy

The not-so successful life after college

I don't think there's anything else in this grown-up world that I detest more than the silent soul-crusher that is job hunting.

When I was in elementary school, I was told and always knew one day I'd be in junior high. Then in junior high, I always knew I'd be in high school soon. And in high school, I always knew and was told that I would go to college. And so the day came and I went to college. And while in college, I was told and led to assume that after graduation, I would be getting a job that would lead to a career and I would be employed and making money doing something related to what I was going to school for. Well we all know what happens when you assume.

Turns out I was set up for a big let down. It was all lies! Damnable lies. Hardly anyone I know actually has a job in their degree field. Many people I know (including me) couldn't find work right out of college. Everything was always step by step in the (what I thought was) the correct direction. The path to success...the path that is known and understood. Not the scary pot-hole ridden path in the opposite direction.

Graduation was the edge of the plateau. There was no continuous mountain path upward. There was just graduation from college and then a big, steep roll downward. Resumes and blasted cover letters abounded. But I was hit with the same confounding response everywhere I went; Employers wanted to hire someone with at least 2 years experience. But how was I to get 2 years experience if noone would hire me??

So the bubble burst on the idea of working for an advertising agency right out of college. Either they wanted experience or they were a small company that had no openings. Later on while I had a crummy sales job, I job-hunted on the side...hoping to find anything better that didn't rely on a commission-based salary. In interviews I'd regurgitate the same spiel of information. Each interview picked at my life force. I realized I had nothing to say except to recite my academic past. I had no family of my own, I had no kids (but thank goodness I'm not a single mom), and I hadn't traveled the world. My life was my stupid resume.

So the rundown is this; after a move back to my hometown, a lack-luster job at a newspaper, a crappy job at a movie theater, and a stressful go-nowhere job in god-awful sales, I took up a new class at a community college. Finally, I was back in an environment where I understood the world. But the outside's evil eye was always boring into the back of my skull. It was there and waiting. I couldn't hide back in academia for long. So I'm now back at the plateau, gazing down again, knowing I have to tuck and roll once more.

(Sigh) Hopefully this time I'll avoid the larger rubble.

Summing up the issue

I just read a forum on the Internet about a mom who is frustrated with the current illegal immigration issue and has decided to remove all Spanish cartoons from her home. She hopes to bring new cultures to the table for her children to learn about. Now before you go saying that she must be racist or full of hatred, as some of the people commenting on her story have called her, she went on to say that she herself CHOSE to take Spanish when she was in school, but nowadays she feels that the language is being forced down her kids' throats. What ever happened to learning another language? In this global economy, in this future world of mixing cultures, why aren't other languages being taught as much? Well, because so many immigrants these days are coming from Mexico. However, the problem lies with those who never learn the language of our country; English. So here below is something one of the commenters wrote to help explain the current issue with these illegal immigrants. I liked how she described it, or rather, how she heard it described by a radio program. And I think it's a good way to explain things. It rather sums it all up.


"I don't have a problem with spanish speaking people. I have a problem with spanish speaking illegals PERIOD. I heard a scenario the other day on the radio that described the situation perfectly. You wake up in the middle of the night to find a person in your home. You did not invite them and they have broken into your home. You tell them to get out- they say "no". You call the police- they show up, take him away. The next night, the same individual is in your house again. Except this time he has brought a bunch of angry looking protestors to sit on your lawn and yelling that he "deserves to be there in your home". This time he has moved in, he is eating your food, moved your things out on the lawn, and expects you to speak his language. You start to call the police, but he threatens to let all the protestors out on your lawn inside if you complain. That's the exact scenario I see happening in AZ. I'm not letting this scenario into my house."

Alter Egos

My boyfriend has many alter-egos and I've named them all based on their personalities. Perhaps over time, I will learn more!


David: This is his normal name. He is David on any given day when he's out running errands, spending time with me and friends, or at work. David is intelligent, has a good sense of humor, generous to his friends and family, and is one of the most helpful, thoughtful guys you'll meet. A car was stalled on the side of the road once and he walked over to see if they needed anything and another time he helped a friend move across the country.

Davy: This is the nickname that he is known by in his family. Actually, it's the name he was always known as until college when he started to go by David instead. I call him David because that's what he went by when I met him. From what I've seen, Davy has a great relationship with his family and it's cute to see him play with his little niece.

Poet: I've sometimes referred to him as my poet, sometimes my drunken poet, when he sends me poetic texts (often at 2am). I've mostly stopped receiving late-night texts because I'm either out with him late at night or he knows I'm at home asleep and he will see me the next day. But here's a few examples of what he's sent me in the past:

“I do so love your mannerisms, rolling, blinking eyes, smiles and laughs with toss of head.”

“Words fail you. Literature falls short of doing you justice.”

“Ain't you so sweet and mellow and pale white all like snow, but not snow white with her dwarves or dwarfs or however it’s spelled.”

Drunky McDrunkerton: This is his drunken alter-ego. This almost Irish-sounding name fits his good-hearted, drunken charm. Drunky McDrunkerton comes out after he's had a few whiskey sours. He talks a bit louder, he gestures more, and he will get into debates with someone about anything from the latest news to history. He likes history. (To be fair, he could get into a debate at any time, but when we're out at night, he has people to debate with.) He will squeeze my hand or knee and I love it when he twirls my hair. He also starts texting people random thoughts. His closest friends are all on Dave's Drunken Subscription. This alter-ego has fun and will from time to time sing karaoke.

Drunky McGroper: This rather unsavory character is unleashed when David has had WAY too many. Raunchy jokes and an awkward sense of humor are his repertoire. He sways a bit, he sees double, and he gropes a bit. Don't worry, it's not some poor unsuspecting person at our table; just me. I must admit, I worry when I see Drunky McGroper. Thankfully I'm usually the designated driver. And luckily, I do not see this alter-ego much at all. I think it's only been twice since I met him.

Davy Jones: This is Dave when he's in a goofy mood. (Hence the reference to the goofy Monkees character.) He's got boyish charm and I always laugh when Davy J. comes out to play. Goofing with Davy J. isn't unlike playing with a child as he hides under the covers to disappear. And something about trying to tickle him drives me wild. (Probably because he's not easy to tickle and when I find that vulnerable spot, I pounce!)

Handsome Brown-Eyed Man: This is his super sweet boyfriend side. HBEM is very much like the characteristics of David, only mainly directed at me. :) He likes to take care of me, he wants to know that I'm happy (and I am), and is all-in-all a great guy.


So there you have it; the many alter-egos of my boyfriend.